Testimonials

How long have you been alcohol-free?

In September 2021, it will be three years.

What role did alcohol play in your life? What was your drinking behavior?

I used it as a tool to help me feel more relaxed in company, at parties, events and other gatherings with people. Alcohol thus took on a function that allowed me to mingle with people despite massive fears (social phobia/panic attacks). This went well for many years. But at some point, alcohol went from being a “tool” to becoming a problem in its own right. The quantities increased and the days without drinking became increasingly rare.

When I started my own business, there was no longer any social control and I started drinking in the morning. At some point, I also switched from beer/wine to vodka.

Of course, the days after were even worse in terms of anxiety and so I quickly found myself in a vicious circle from which I couldn’t get out.

Were there other dependencies?

Yes, benzodiazepines for anxiety. Sometimes I had such massive fears that I didn’t even dare go to the mailbox because the fear of meeting someone was excessive.

How did you come to Vida Libre?

I felt terrible in the vicious circle, which was no longer a real life and found that it could not go on like this. So one evening I googled and came across Vida Libre pretty quickly. It suited me very much that it is not a clinic, that it is abroad and that it is anonymous.

What do you think was most important for you to stop drinking?

The driving force was the realization that I had zero quality of life anymore and that I might as well kill myself. The fears were stronger than ever, everything was meaningless, my “independence” had become a massive drinking problem, etc. So the choice was: end my life or do something.

Did you have a relapse and then come to Vida Libre again?

Yes, after about four months I had a relapse. I actually thought that nothing would happen if I took just one drink. But then it all started again and the intervals became shorter again. My drinking behavior before I went to Vida Libre for the second time was worse than ever.

What do you think was particularly helpful for you at Vida Libre?

That the whole therapy took place in a beautiful place, far away from everything you know. Beautiful finca, beautiful weather and animals all around. The animals did me a lot of good. The intensive coaching with Coletta Damm also helped me a lot. Without it, I would not have gotten anywhere.

I sometimes found the other activities (yoga, painting, water sports, horse riding, etc.) stressful, but they did me a lot of good. They were stressful at first because I didn’t really have the energy yet and hadn’t really emerged from the hole I had crawled into due to alcohol.

How would you describe the decision to stop drinking?

It was the best decision of my life. Without this decision, I wouldn’t be alive anymore because life wasn’t worth living anymore. Of course, life without alcohol isn’t always a bed of roses, but at least you have the vitality to face your problems, take responsibility, and not hide in the alcohol fog.

Have you told others about it?

Only to my closest friends and family, who don’t immediately put a label on you that you don’t want.

What helped you afterwards, was there a strategy?

I created an “emotional anchor” for myself. Every time I thought about alcohol, I thought back to how terribly pointless it felt in a drunken stupor or after waking up after a binge, and I found that feeling so awful that I burned it into my mind once and for all. I never want to experience that feeling again.

It also helped a lot that I had follow-up care and could call anytime.

Because you have become more sensitive to the topic of alcohol, you also notice a lot in situations where you are sitting together in a social setting and you also observe a lot that you no longer want.

Did you still long for the state that comes from alcohol?

At most the moment of switching off. But since you are aware of where it leads, you quickly look for other methods.

How did you deal with an often drinking environment afterwards?

In the beginning, for self-protection, I no longer went into drinking situations with people who drank excessively. After that, I realized that many “friendships” didn’t give me what I needed and that it was only “glossed over” by the alcohol. That’s why I cleaned up my environment quite a bit.

Today, it disgusts me when I see someone who has had too much to drink. It annoys me to hear the slurred speech that results.

But I have no problem being with people who drink normally and know when to stop.

But maybe there is something else important that I have forgotten to mention?

You should be patient with yourself and brave when you have chosen the sober path. Life has so much more to offer again. But it is a big challenge to get to know yourself soberly after years of drinking.

Of course, those around you also notice that you have changed. Some people can’t handle the new clarity and may turn away, but that’s okay. It makes space.

Very, very best regards and a hug.