Vida Libre
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Dr. Coletta Damm (CD), Rebecca Erb (RE), Manfred Kleemann and Karolin Hundt (KH) answer the most frequently asked questions about the Vida Libre project.
CD: At first glance it seems to be the small number of guests (a maximum of 2 – 4 persons), which enables us to work intensively and individually with each guest. However, when you take another look, you will find that it is also our very special commitment, which goes beyond normal “treatment”, that allows us to offer such intensive individual support. We share everyday activities with you: whether we are working together during a specific session, having meals together or engaging in interesting conversations after breakfast and dinner.
You might also chat to our wonderful chefs and share some recipes with them.
But don’t worry, we will give you your own space to breathe!
Even if you are a public figure and we went out for dinner – nobody would be able to guess why you are here. People will wish you a pleasant holiday on Mallorca instead – this has already happened a few times.
CD: None of us believes to be perfect or claims to be able to impart to you a life that is always happy and peaceful. Anyone who has worked with people for so many years and has at least some ability of self-reflection will not claim to be able to do so or else they would live in a world of their own.
However, we are able to assist you in realising what is important to you in your life.
CD: People are often very ready to spend certain sums of money on a car or some other possession. Unfortunately, they are often not so good at looking after themselves, their health and their well-being. People believe that happiness must come about when they surround themselves with nice things. Unfortunately, this only works to some extent. And when you are on a path towards developing addictive patterns, it is vital to find a way of turning around, to avoid harming yourself and others around you.
By working with us intensively, you can take home major impulses for the years to come. We are very happy to see that this has worked out for so many people
CD: We mainly host self-employed or employed executives who cannot afford to take leave from their company, medical practice or the like for a long time. Sometimes, we also have guests who have left their active professional or family life behind and are looking for new meaning in their life, or younger people who have realised that they might do a lot of professional and personal harm because of their alcoholism.
Guests who come to us because of a burnout syndrome usually know for themselves how quickly great exhaustion or lack of sleep can lead to consumption of alcohol or medication.
Some people have “only” had a bottle of wine a day over a longer period of time and realised that things cannot go on like this, others have consumed large amounts every day and yet others have “only” had a lot for several days occasionally – whatever the pattern, most of our guests have the aim of continuing to live without alcohol beyond their stay. Even people with burnout see alcohol much more critically and handle it much more carefully after their time at Vida Libre.
It is not rare that our guests stay in touch with each other – we host very nice, open-minded people!
CD: Test yourself by answering the questions on our website. To find them, go to the main page, click on “Problems with alcohol” and scroll down.
If you still have doubts after that: Cut out alcohol for at least 6 months. If you do not mind doing so, you do not have to worry at the moment.
However, you might notice that you often miss the state that alcohol puts you in.
Physical detoxification takes a maximum of 10 days. However, real withdrawal has only been achieved when you do not need alcohol to have a good life, neither daily nor at times, when you do not need it to change your mood, to be able to fall asleep more easily, to be happier or braver or to just get away from it all for a few days…
KH: Since we carry out withdrawal, it makes sense for you to have abstained from alcohol for a few days before your arrival. Doing so will also enable you to use your first few days at Vida Libre even better. For those who only drink excessively at times, this is usually not a problem.
In case of daily alcohol consumption and depending on your state of health and the severity of your alcoholism, we urgently recommend detoxification under medical supervision because of the potentially life-threatening risks involved.
There are several ways of doing this:
CD: You can detoxify as an in-patient or as an out-patient before travelling to Mallorca. I can support you independently of whichever option you choose and take all necessary measures for you.
RE: Another option is to receive inpatient detoxification on Mallorca. In this case, we would pick you up from the airport, accompany you to a very good private clinic in Palma, which has a German doctor, and afterwards take you to Vida Libre.
KH: If necessary, I am happy to get in touch with the respective colleagues in Germany or in Palma.
CD: We can discuss beforehand whether one of these measures makes sense for you by way of preparation and which one you prefer.
CD: We have plenty of examples for this. Some doctors or addiction counsellors underestimate how intense a stay with us is. One case in point is an American client who came to see us 12 years ago and has been on the wagon since. In the decades prior to that, the longest time he would have managed without alcohol had been three months. Having been an addiction therapist for many years I am very happy to talk to your carers.
CD: No, we do not administer medication like that because we do not believe that the experience gained with this so far has been convincing.
CD: Anyone who wants to drink in a controlled way shows that they have already lost control. Trying to do so is a battle that you cannot win and you might end up drinking more and more.
I do not know anyone who has won this battle. Some people manage to reduce their consumption for a while (days / weeks – sometimes even months) after which they go back to their previous level or even beyond.
When therapists make this offer, they are jeopardising their clients’ health. This is negligent and irresponsible and must never be the aim of any treatment/counselling. There is no reliable rational criterion, which is why I say to all: “Believe me, it is this way.” It has to do with the long-term harmful effect alcohol has, and somewhere between habits and regularity, the mechanism of controlled drinking gets destroyed. My conviction and my own experience allow me to make this categorical statement. The aim for anyone affected by alcoholism has to be abstinence. There is no positive alternative because it is about saving your life. The other option is progressive destruction leading all the way to death.
RE: The term “controlled drinking” still harbours the idea that alcohol is needed to attain certain states or evoke certain feelings or at least to conform to the norm (at New Year, birthdays, parties, anniversaries etc.).
CD: And this is how an addictive drug (a cytotoxin or cell poison) like alcohol becomes an apparently indispensable part of daily life. Contrary to previous decades, smoking is no longer socially acceptable. (As late as in the 1950s/1960s, it was a hospitable gesture in Germany to offer cigarettes to one’s guests. Nobody would have been sent out onto the balcony to smoke.)
On the website of a well-known NLP teaching institute (I do appreciate NLP!) you can read the following: “Stop smoking in 10 days”. And below that: “Controlled drinking”. When I asked whether it was also possible to learn how to smoke in a controlled way, I was told that they were happy to teach me that, too. However, insurance would not cover for that. Any former smoker can only shake their head in disbelief. You do see the reasoning behind it though: Smoking is something you can give up, alcohol is (still) apparently indispensable.
Save yourself the trouble of making this “choice” that you allegedly have. Your health and your wellbeing should be more important to you.
CD: Some guests come to us with oncoming burnout, in which case it is possible, through resource-oriented work to jointly change the “inner direction” in such a way that symptoms like severe exhaustion, sleeplessness etc. can quickly disappear. Many people’s ability to regenerate never ceases to impress me! If we find that a much longer “time-out” is needed, we try and work out with our guest and with carers they have at home how to best continue the support. What is important is to use the intensive time at Vida Libre to change direction for a new course, which facilitates further work at home.
CD: Alcohol would not be helpful to you, quite the contrary. In fact, problems with alcohol sometimes start when people try to help themselves out of a burnout situation. And if you do find it hard to manage without alcohol for two or three weeks, you have maybe already gotten more used to alcohol than is good for you.
Staying with us, you will experience that you can live well without alcohol or (if possible) medication by getting to know relaxation techniques.
CD: For alcohol withdrawal, it is approx. 65 – 70%. The refresher week has turned out to be an important factor here. In cases of relapse, we have acted quickly and worked out solutions with the person concerned – when we had the chance to do so.
As far as other symptoms are concerned, it is fair to say that our guests return to their daily lives stronger and equipped with good strategies. For example, there was one lady who had been unfit for work for five months. After two weeks at Vida Libre, she had no trouble going back to her job and has stayed healthy.
We strongly recommend to start off with a two-week stay. The minimum duration for alcohol-related problems is 10 days – plus a refresher week, which can be scheduled at short notice.
RE: Yes, three to four guests are ideal. It also enables us to look after everyone particularly well.
We have already had a situation where someone wanted to extend their stay for another week and we were able to arrange for that, with the consent of the other guests. We then had four guests for that limited amount of time.
CD: Certainly. Of course not everyone is ready to do so, because they might not like to discuss their private experience with people they do not know. Also, some guests might shy away from the public eye because they are well-known figures.
CD: We are happy to be recommended – however, I would like to be in contact with any future guest. They should come to us out of their own accord, since this is the only way we can work together effectively. Of course sometimes people need a bit of a nudge to start out on something that they want anyway, but they do need to summon up the courage to engage in our work themselves.
CD: You are welcome to bring someone for a night (or a maximum of two) at the beginning of your stay. Many guests, even those who travel a lot on business and are therefore flexible, do not feel very well when they first arrive. They ask themselves: “What expects me here? Will I feel at ease? Normally it is me who determines things – how will I manage here?” etc.
In this kind of situation, it can be helpful to have someone close to you at your side.
We are also looking forward to getting to know your relatives, either in person or by phone after a few days, with your consent.
However, you need time to yourself here, or else you cannot use your stay effectively.
Let me give you an example: A client’s husband (of many years) stayed in a hotel on Mallorca for the duration of the two weeks and she met him for coffee every so often. I also had a chance to speak to him.
Various individual solutions are possible, however you should be able to be on your own in our house.
CD: Of course! You should however make sure that your family or your company will manage most things without you for the duration of your stay.
I might also recommend to you to stay completely off the phone for three days. This does not apply if you have small children at home of course.
We have set up a fast internet connection in the meantime, but we ask our guests to show moderation in using it. After all, your time with us is the perfect chance to organise things differently from back home.
CD: During your stay with us, I am happy to speak to your partner over the phone. Of course I only do so with your consent. It can be helpful for us to get to know the situation from the perspective of your next of kin. Anything said in the coaching sessions will of course not be discussed with them, unless you want me to.
If is often strange for those at home to think that you are in a place unknown to them discussing personal matters at length with people that they have not met. Being in touch by phone can provide reassurance.
Even after your stay, your family and friends can contact me / us at any time if they wish.
CD: Maybe your carer thinks that you do not need regeneration with us and that you can learn to live well again with his or her help. It is up to you to decide that!
We are also frequently confronted with the argument that it is impossible to change things in two to three weeks – see our answer above. We are happy to talk to your doctor / therapist / addiction counsellor. Maybe this will give them a better idea of who we are and what our commitment is.
There is a prejudice about private institutions just wanting to make money and not providing adequate service, which may be true occasionally (we also know a few examples) – but this does not apply to us. If your carer happens to be on a holiday on Mallorca, they are welcome to come and meet us!
CD: No, at least not in the classical sense that you need to be a member of a group for the rest of your life. Attending an AA group or another self-help group can make sense and be valuable for many people for a certain varying period of time.
However, we believe that once you have stopped drinking, alcohol as a topic should not be given so much space in your life in the long run. The suggestion that you have to relapse unless you attend group sessions for the rest of your life is simply wrong – unless you believe in it.
MK: My personal assessment of this is that you cannot say to yourself every morning for thirty or more years: “Today, I will not have a drink!” In my experience, attending a group focusing on alcohol for years is a way of artificially maintaining mental proximity to the drug. This can increase the risk of a relapse, even after years.
CD: We have seen such examples at Vida Libre. Again, this is a very individual matter! If you like you are welcome to visit a local AA group during your stay at Vida Libre.
CD: Yes, you can. There are people who do not benefit from attending groups. Others feel that groups are the right place for them and give them strength.
At Vida Libre, our guests (and us) naturally form a mini group – conversations often take place very informally, over breakfast or dinner, during joint excursions or when we give our presentation on how addiction arises – which is less of a presentation and more of a conversation on how you assess yourself in your specific situation. Our “philosophical night” also gets us talking to each other.
CD: At Vida Libre, we all have different backgrounds and opinions. I will support you on the religious / spiritual path you have chosen, to the best of my ability. For many people, this is very important and naturally forms part of their life. For others, it can become a source of strength.
However, I do not believe that physical and mental health has to be linked with a conventional religious / spiritual path.
For example, some people experience their connection with existence by way of an intense bond with nature. It is important to us that different views are accepted, also among our guests, for example during our philosophical night.
If you would like to attend a service on Sunday or go to a synagogue or mosque on other days – we will of course arrange this for you!
All: No, unfortunately, this is not possible. Neither is it possible to stay at a hotel and to use our offerings selectively.
However, you might not want to have your coaching session on a particular day because you have too much to digest or you might not be up for exercise and the like and would rather go for a walk at the beach by yourself.
Our concept is a holistic one – this is what makes Vida Libre special.
Maybe you would like to add another week holidaying on Mallorca after your stay with us?
CD: Upon your arrival, we will discuss your dietary requirements and possible allergies with you. There is a wide choice of breakfast items and I will take your wishes and habits into consideration. One thing not to miss is a healthy fruit juice mix every morning. At lunchtime, you will be offered a light snack and for dinner, you are welcome to make your own suggestions.
If you take an interest in cooking yourself, I am happy to hear your ideas! And if you would like to join in, this is also possible.
You are welcome to talk to us at any time about anything related to board and lodging!
CD: Upon your arrival, you will be given a daily schedule. Except on Sundays, we meet every morning at 9 am for yoga, followed by breakfast at 9.30 am. 90 Minutes of coaching are obligatory every day (Mon – Sat) – in the morning or in the afternoon, taking turns with other guests. There is a two-hour break at lunchtime. When you are not in your coaching session, you have the following options: massages, aqua fitness, intensive yoga, power training, jogging, experiencing groundwork with a horse…etc. You could also go for a meditative walk (at the beach) or go for little hikes and excursions, or you could visit Felanitx’s market on a Sunday.
However, we will make sure that you still have enough leisure time, which you need to rest and reflect!
CD: It depends on the person – as much contact over the phone and / or via email as is desired and makes sense, even after the refresher week.
This is how we have stayed in touch with many of our guests over a long time. They all know that they can turn to us at any time without having to worry.
Thanks to Zoom, communication is even more direct now.
If you are interested, we are happy to continue to support you and to help you to find suitable offerings near you. Contact via email and/or telephone calls (within reasonable limits) or a meeting over a cup of coffee are for free. For continuing coaching sessions after your stay please visit our page on prices to find out more.
If you come back to Majorca for holidays we would be happy for you to visit us!
Go ahead and use our knowledge and our experience, just like we will do – with regard to your expertise – if and when we need it.